almost a week into 2010

Where I’m at right now:

Two more nutrition appointments (feb/mar)

Two support groups (jan/feb)

Physical/Blood work

I can see it getting closer and I’m excited/hopeful/scared.. ..

I still have to take my measurements .. get some “before” pictures taken .. and stock up on some protein shakes!!

Christmas 2009

It’s almost here.. Christmas!

And ever year at Christmas time we have our Holiday party in Long Island .. it’s a time for eating in abundance and drinking the same amount.. I’m wondering how this will be different in one year from now!? I know I won’t be able to eat and drink the way I did this year.. but that’s a good thing.

A year from now .. I hope to be about 8 months past my surgery date and can only dream about what I’ll feel like/look like then.

A few NSV (non-scale-victories) goals to reach for in 2010:

1. Have a bath towel wrap around me (all the way around)
2. Be happy and comfortable in the size that I’m supposed to be in and not squeeze into a size smaller size just for the number..
3. Request to have pictures taken of me .. and not hide from the camera! I’d love to have more pictures of me and my little guy!

 

Happy Holidays everyone!

Thoughts..

Since I haven’t posted in a while.. I’ll post twice in one day! My last post was just listing off dates and appointments that I’ve gone to. This one is a little bit more.. thoughtful.

Okay, some honesty.

I’m really terrible at keeping up my food diary. There I said it.. I’ve been making all kinds of excuses when I go to the nutritionist because I feel guilty when I show up with out that piece of paper. I have been conscious of what I’ve been eating .. but not good enough to write it all down.

I’m not going all out crazy .. and “living it up” my last few months before being banded.. but I’m not exactly holding back or eating like I would if I did have the band. And that kinda makes me feel guilty too.. but ? .. not enough guilt to make me stop doing that right now. Is it a way of slowing saying goodbye to eating fast and drinking with my meals..

maybe?

I’d love to hear how others with the band dealt with the months leading up to surgery..

My “Plan” is to get serious a month before and kick butt during my 10-day pre-op surgery diet .. to make up for this..It doesn’t look like I’m going to make my goal of getting down to a solid 200lbs before my surgery..

I wish I could see in to the future and see how this is all going to work out..

Almost two months later…where I am right now

I don’t have any followers yet or readers .. because I haven’t actually told anyone that I’ve started this blog..so I don’t feel guilty about not keeping up with posting. There’s not a lot to report on since my surgery is somewhere off in the future.

Things that have been happening in the past few months:

– I’m 1/2 way through with my nutrition appointments (oct/nov/dec) and now it’s onto (jan/feb/mar)

– I passed my psych appointment! Yay me!!

– I just had my upper GI appointment (eww .. soo gross)

– I made my physical appointment for February and have a follow-up appointment with my surgeon that month too

– Going to 1 out of 2 support groups next week!

– Visited the Heart doc and passed with flying colors!

So.. I have three more nutrition appointments, a physical, 2 support group meetings, blood work, weight history from my doctor. .. and the submit to the insurance company for final approval.

Looking at a March/April 2010 surgery date!!

Okay I’ve started the food journal..

And it’s not pretty!

I don’t eat horribly .. but not the best either.. I can’t wait to sit down and talk with a nutritionist .. I’ve never done that before and I’m curious to know what they’ll suggest to help me for the next few months and even after the surgery.

I’m waiting on taking pictures of myself because my husband has been out-of-town for work and the weekends that he’s home have been really busy. I know these pictures are going to be super important to me when I’m trying to track my weight loss and have something visual to compare my before/after .. so it’s up there on my priority list of things to do.

I’m wondering what to post in the next couple of months.. I feel like the real ‘stuff’ of this blog won’t be that interesting until I have the surgery and I’m living with the band.. But I also want to track the months before too.. I’m going to read others blogs to get some more inspiration!

Wow ..

I sat down today and made lots of phone calls.. and now everything is scheduled for my pre-op work! Yay!!

Cardiologist, Radiologist, Psych Eval, ..all of those! .. phewww. .. and they’re all going to take place in Oct/Nov ..and I’m excited that it’s all going to be done but a little overwhelmed at all the work in the next two months.

It’s nice to have a list to check off and have it numbered in front of me to keep me organized.

My first Nutritionist appointment is in a little less than two weeks .. and the food diary is staring at me, .. and waiting for me to fill out. And I’m going to .. tomorrow! .. I swear..

so..um.. yeah.. now what?

That’s how I feel right now..

Six months ..and I know that there’s a lot to get finished up in that time .. but it’s kinda feeling like for-evvv-errrr right now. I got a few blank menu’s from my surgeon’s office and I’m going to start on Thursday and track what I eat for two weeks before my first nutrition visit.

I’m guessing these visits are going to help me at better eating before my surgery .. but I hope the last few visits talk about what/how to eat when I am banded. I want to be prepared .. my biggest fear is that I’ll feel like there is nothing out there that I can eat except for protein shakes and i’m sure I won’t love those for that long!

I’ve already started to do ‘my part’ and cut out ice cream from my nightly snack .. or if I do feel like a ‘treat’ at the end of my day .. it’s a Weight Watchers ice cream bar.. satisfies the chocolate/ice cream craving.

Set in Motion

and that’s just what this  “Journey” is starting to feel like ..

I made three Nutrition appointments today(Oct/Nov/Dec) and that felt really good! I also wrote out a clear check list to keep track off all the appointments that I need to take care of in these next six months.. It makes the six months of waiting feel nessasary to get everything accomplished!

I was so nervous yesterday ..sitting in the waiting room at the surgeon’s office..

I chatted with a few ladies and they were so helpful and positive about their experience and sharing their stories, it really was great to hear & made me even more hopeful that I would get to qualifiy this time.

One woman looked at me and said “Wow, ..? You really don’t look like you need this surgery” ..I’m not sure if I was supposed to feel flattered..? But ..?  It was kind of awkward to explain that yes indeed I was about 100lbs overweight..

annoying!

OOooh yeah!!

I did it!

I weighed in just enough to qualify for getting full insurance coverage for weight loss surgery!

((happy dance goes here!))

I’m so glad that this week is behind me .. no more worrying/over thinking/and over eating ‘just in case’ ..

I’ll have more thoughts on this later. I’m just soaking it all in right now..

It’s Thursday!!

phewwwww I made it to Thursday .. now I just have to wait a little bit more till 3:30pm .. and then it’s the big meeting with the surgeon! ((please please gravity gods .. let me be where I need to be to get qualified))

I tried to make a new blog over at blogger because I wanted one of those cool google follower things ..but when I tried to import this blog over there. .. it just wasn’t working! And it seems like waaaay to much work to copy/paste everything and re-upload this pics ..ect ect!

So I’m going to follow everyone through the email address ..and if you see a little picture of a girl with a camera ..it’s me and this blog reading along with you! :)

Check in later for the conclusion of “Will she be chubby enough to get the band .. or NOT” ..

((cue the sappy soap opera music))